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Reich I am the kind of nice Jewish girl who gives Jewisu mother nightmares. I'm lesnian Jewish lesbian dating the run from the law, I didn't skip Hebrew school to datiny my belly button pierced, and no, as a teenager, I didn't break into the synagogue vault where they keep the Manischewitz for kiddush after Shabbat services. That my mother knows of, at least. For the most part, I'm exempt from all of these crimes. I worry my mother for one reason, and for Jewiish reason only: When I state that I am lsebian to dating non-Jews, it lesbuan mean that Jewish lesbian dating averse to going out for a cup of coffee with a yiddishe maidele. I will also specify lwsbian I am fortunate llesbian to have family and a network of others who accept me for who I am, unconditionally.
But the downside to social progressiveness is lesbina I, too, am now expected to marry a nice Jewish girl. Preferably a doctor, lawyer, or dentist, of course. Ostensibly, my choice to not exclusively date Jewish women can seem baffling. I observe Jewish holidays, light candles on Shabbos, keep kosher, and have an unironic love of Barbra Streisand movies. I'm the product of synagogue on Saturdays, summers at Jewish sleep-away camp, and United Synagogue Youth conventions. Raised in a traditional Conservative Jewish household in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the idea of exclusively dating Jews -- and eventually marrying a Jew -- was ingrained into my consciousness at a young age.
It was not only a way to find a familiar comfort in another in observance and accordance with Jewish culture, but it was also a responsibility: It was more than happiness; it was a duty. But as I launched into adolescence and concurrently became aware of my lesbian leanings, I experienced a sense of dissonance. At the time, the idea of same-sex marriage was a pipe-dream -- the mere thought of coming out at all seemed like a frightening prospect. My disinclination to disappoint anyone, let alone my family and my community, overrode my desire to be myself. I didn't want to veer from what I felt was implicitly expected from me: With the support of a few trusted individuals, I ultimately came out to my parents, friends, friends-of-friends -- everyone within a five mile radius, so to speak -- and found that my newly-announced homosexuality, in the long run, barely caused a stir.
And while I can't say that everyone embraced me with a rainbow ticker-tape parade, I can attest that the Jewish community that I was most afraid would repudiate my very existence welcomed me with open arms. Love was love, it told me, and striving towards tikkun olam -- repairing the world -- transcended whether I preferred Natalie Portman to Zach Braff.
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