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After 10 fantastic years we married and had Olivia. When the end came in JulyI walked from the hospital feeling outraged at how unfair life was. It was heartbreaking to hear her say her daddy had died, but it helped her. Pain and grief become less intense, though, and you remember happy times. Three years on, I decided to start experimenting Young widow online dating internet dating sites, and I included on my profile that I was a widow. I met Clive on one of the sites. He was attractive, a property agent, nine years older than me and separated. I was new to the dating game so it was always going to be a bit stilted, but we kept in touch as friends.

He slowly reeled me in. Lucy and her husband Clive Image: I suddenly realised after a couple of months that I loved him. Starting a relationship was a huge step, so we took it slowly. Olivia was my big concern, but she really took to him and his daughter Isabelle, seven. Clive is amazing and talks to Olivia about Sacha. Olivia, now 10, stood up at the reception and said: And then Emilia was born in September The Sacha Borthwick Foundation: He was the love of my life. He was a fit paramedic and a fun-loving dad. After surgery, he started chemotherapy and radiotherapy and after two years his scans were clear. But by Julythe cancer had spread to his adrenal glands and lungs and finally to his brain.

He died soon after. Paula and Gary on their wedding day Image: Eastnews Press Agency The funeral felt unreal, like I was a bystander. Afterwards, I felt so lonely.

The evenings were awful. Datimg putting the kids to bed there were lots of tears, then I went to bed alone onllne all that Young widow online dating to think. At the start ofI returned to work in Youg admin role. But then I woke one day thinking was this really it? Was this how my life was now? Gary was never coming back and my kids would never have their dad. I knew I had to pick myself up and in the February, I went along to Widowed Young Support, a support group run by a national charity Care for the Family. I could talk openly, without having to put on a brave face for the kids, and I came away different.

And this may not always match the expectations of our family and friends.

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That said, once it does start to feel right, there are a few tips that might make it easier to take the plunge with widower or widow dating. Interested in meeting local singles? With EliteSingles you can be introduced Young widow online dating singles close to home. For more information, take a look at our regional dating pages: Plus many more cities to be found on our UK dating page. Remember your partner accurately A key challenge when dating again is idealising our deceased partner and Young widow online dating relationship we had with them.

As the relationship ended because of a death, we can feel that it would never have otherwise ended. That's why it's vital to remember your partner for who they were. Accurately remembering a lost loved one enables us to keep them in a place of honour in our hearts whilst also making space for the possibility of new love. Don't compare or contrast Whether widower or widow, dating again can bring you comfort and comapanionship after loss. Yet, to really see the rewards of this, it is important to remember two things: The danger with comparing and contrasting is that anyone new will be measured according to an unachievable ideal.

To bear this in mind is important for anyone serious about beginning to move forward. Again, this isn't about replacing anyone or denying their memories - but it is about giving each love in your life their own space. The future is up to you In The Dragonfly Pool, Eva Ibbotsen writes ''you cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying overhead, but you can stop them nesting in your hair. This is true of both the past and of anyone new you might meet. Indeed, you cannot expect that every new date will be perfection but you can approach them with the right frame of mind.


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