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Not just any coworker — the head of our human resources department. We wind up making out on the dance floor in front of everyone for about 5 minutes then Houdini out of there into a cab and head back to my place. Everyone has left at this point, so we bust open the door, and as soon as I walk into my room, I notice something amiss. My dickhead friends who I bailed on turned my bed over, tables, chairs, fans, TV, pictures you get the picture all upside down. My room looked like the remnants of Hurricane Katrina. At this point, we did what any two mature adults would do — we put the mattress on the floor, and continued our hookup session, bed-frameless, college-style.

The next morning I woke up, realized the errors of my ways, and pretended I had to go for a run. I put my workout clothing on, dropped my coworker off, then headed back home to go to sleep. Well, this one is the best, or the most horrifying, hookup story I will ever tell. We hung out for about two more weeks until he got shipped out to Missouri. So he moved to Missouri but we were still sexting some every now and then. One day, he offered to fly me out to Missouri. When would I ever get to go to Missouri for free?

I have the whole summer off anyway. Long story short, I was in town from Thursday to Sunday. Thursday and Friday, he had to work and we had terrible sex all weekend. Nothing we sexted about happened, and I actually thought he was even worse than before he left Georgia. Then we never talked again other than the occasional small talk bullshit. The horror story is just getting started.


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